Three Nights
by CCommons
Summary: Her death was haunting all of them, even after a year. But Gojyo is feeling the regret of never confessing to her and is cursed with three nights of vivid dreams and restlessness, each night a lesson he won't soon forget.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**  
**Regret**

"Gojyo."

The redhead looked up to the rearview mirror where he met Hakkai's green gaze, "Yeah?"

"You ok?"

"I'm fine."

Hakkai's brows knit together in his worried mother expression, "We've been sitting in the car for five minutes and you haven't moved…"

The hanyou only just noticed that they were indeed parked outside their inn for the night and also took note of the missing monk and monkey. Hakkai stepped from the jeep which chirped lazily as Gojyo ran a hand down his face. "Gojyo, are you sure you're alright? We all feel a little down today."

"I miss her man, that's all."

He swung his leg over the back and so badly wanted to reach back and hold out a hand for her, like he always did. Although she didn't need help getting from the car she accepted his hand every time. She would bounce on her toes and punch his arm as he smirked at her, then would usually join Hakkai on their stroll into the inn. But watching Hakkai's single figure was a boring sight. One he should be used to, after all, she'd been dead for a year now.

"What the hell took you so long Kappa?" Sanzo glared at him as he entered the lobby a few seconds behind Hakkai.

"I'm not in the mood monk."

"Tch. Whatever." The blonde sparked up yet another cigarette. There was no woman to take them from him and raise her brow, poised expertly above her hazel eyes. The monk never retaliated either, in fact, his violet gaze would soften just a touch. It was a look Gojyo never missed, because he knew that underneath all those vows of celibacy and that scowl on his face, the monk might have loved her.

"…jyo…Gojyo!"

"Huh? What monkey?"

"Are you thinking about Nai?"

And then there was the kid. Completely oblivious to the pain even her name caused. He ruffled the boy's hair, "I was."

The boy nodded solemnly, "Sanzo says that if we think about her too much we'll giver her a headache."

Gojyo enjoyed an inner chuckle at that one, it was more like thinking about her too much gave the blonde a headache. Serves him right; how can you be friends with a woman like that for as long as the blonde had and not feel anything? But then again…Gojyo hadn't exactly said anything to her either, just teased her here and there. He was almost sure that if she was still alive and he tried to really talk to her, she would think he was joking.

"We're getting our own rooms tonight." Hakkai's voice once again brought the hanyou out of his thoughts. The healer handed the man a key and smiled reassuringly. "Try not to stay up all night Gojyo, get some rest."

Sanzo lagged behind as Hakkai followed Goku up the stairs, he narrowed his gaze on his companion and approached him, "What the hell is your problem?"

"Like you don't know what today is."

"I'm well aware Kappa but it doesn't mean I want to see your soggy face all damn day."

"Then don't look at me."

"Do you really think not looking at your ugly mug will help!" the blonde hissed and stepped even closer, "_Knowing_ that you're thinking of her when you have no right makes me want to put a bullet in your skull!"

"No right! What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means exactly how it sounds. You're the reason she's dead anyway! She called on _you_!"

Gojyo took a step back, pain covering his features, "That's not fair…"

"You let her die Gojyo. It's your fault."

"Um, sirs? I'm sorry but you're disturbing the other guests." The young maid tentatively interrupted the conversation as it had risen in volume and brought on a small crowd in the lobby.

Without a word Sanzo brushed past the red-head and stomped up the stairs. Gojyo followed behind him with a deep set scowl, both his pride and feelings sorely hurt. Now it was apparent as to why he was so bothered, so much more so than the rest of the party… It _was_ his fault that she died.

_"__You doing ok over there girly!"_

_The woman's rifle was loud as the shot discharged, she switched it's position as a demon came upon her and swung it like a bat, "I'll call you when I need you!" Was her way of saying 'leave me the fuck alone'. He chuckled and focused on his own fight._

_"__Do you think they'll ever get tired of attacking us?"_

_"__Considering-" Hakkai stopped to hit a foe, "-how close we are to the end, I doubt it."_

_"__Maybe you losers should be fighting instead of talking." Sanzo chimed in._

_It was a tougher fight than usual, more demons than usual…although they had taken down an army before this seemed a bit more difficult. And now that Gojyo was actually paying attention, it seemed as though they were being cut off from each other. A bigger ring of demons forming around them individually. He looked over to where Nai had been, caught a glimpse of chocolate waves then blocked a sword coming at his head. "Girly!"_

_She didn't answer and three demons came down on him. He was the closest to her, none of the other party members even heard him call her name. But damn if these attackers of theirs weren't really good…_

_"__Gojyo!"_

_Too good._

_Her rifle skidded across the dirt, she didn't have any other weapon but her fists, "G-Gojyo!"_

_"__I'm trying Nai! Just hold on for a minute!" He wrestled the demon who held his shakoujo and tried to tug it from him. Part them from their weapons and all but Hakkai and Goku were helpless, "Guys! Hey, Nai needs help!"_

_They didn't hear him._

_Her scream was louder than her gunshots. It echoed and was a chilling sound, "We got the girl!"_

The rest of the fight was a blur. In order to stay alive they had to keep fighting; meanwhile she bled out on the sand, alone.

Gojyo had gotten to her first, picking her up and shaking her, begging her to wake up. She'd pulled the sword from her lung herself, she even crawled a bit to get to them. But in the end she died alone to the sounds of the fight she'd lost.

The man payed across his bed and stated at the ceiling.

_"That's all I get? A stupid replay of my final moments?"_

"Girly?"

_"__Well duh."_

The redhead sat up and a figure caught his gaze across the room. One hand casually in the pocket of her frayed short, white t-shirt free of bloodstains, and green eyes framed by chocolate waves, "You're not real."

_"__I am very much real Gojyo and you can't ignore me."_

"You're not real. Not real." he covered his head with a pillow and footsteps neared the bed.

_"__You can't ignore me Gojyo! Gojyo!"_ her shout should have shaken the room, but she was not in fact real. Even still Gojyo felt the bed dip as she sat on the bed, _"Fine. But don't think i'm going to let you sleep."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**On The First Night**

"Oh Gojyo…" Hakkai frowned at his best friend as the man arrived at the breakfast table. His eyes sported dark bags and even his hair was a little tangled. The Hanyou obviously hadn't slept well if even at all.

"_Gonna be a long day on no sleep." the woman snickered, "Coffee?"_

A coffee cup hit the table and Gojyo jumped, quickly looking up at the waitress who for a second looked like Nai until she smiled and swung a blonde ponytail as she turned to walk away. Sanzo watched the exchange with a raised eyebrow, "See something disturbing Kappa?"

"I'm fine."

"You obviously didn't sleep well Gojyo. Maybe we should stay another night, you won't get rest in the car…"

"We're not staying." Sanzo started.

Goku looked up from his food for air, "I don't know Sanzo. He looks like he won't be much use in a fight."

The redhead had enough energy to bite back, "Shut it Monkey."

"Damn." Sanzo stood from his seat, "We're staying."

Hakkai watched the man rub his red eyes and droop further into the table. He knows why the man did not sleep–the _guilt _that swam in the pit of his stomach… Poor Gojyo. Poor Gojyo.

"_Poor Gojyo, poor Gojyo…" _Nai mimicked out into the air, sitting on the table, her ghostly presence not even disturbing the buzzing fly occupying the same space.

"Stop feeling sorry for me Hakkai."

"_You know he wont…"_

"I'm sorry Gojyo."

The man stood abruptly and headed upstairs. Pity didn't exactly make him warm and fuzzy.

Nai followed him up the stairs, _"__Oh Gojyo, why don__'__t you know that she doesn__'__t blame you.__" _her voice was again Hakkai's as she spoke.

Gojyo turned to her at the top of the stairs, "Do you?" She shook her head and he sighed, "I still feel like crap."

Someone exited their room in time to catch the hanyou talking to empty air. He rolled his red eyes and retreated to his room with the ghost in tow. _"__Well, i__'__m here so you can stop feeling like crap.__"_

"How so?"

"_We're going to confront your issue with my death."_

"There's no issue if it was my fault, girly."

The woman huffed, _"__That there is the wouldn't even acknowledge me last night.__"_

"Why couldn't you just let me sleep?"

"_Because you need to get over this. And if I have to damn near kill you to wake you up, so be it."_

Gojyo wasn't expecting the strong gust of wind to whirl around the shut-off room and knock him haphazardly into the bed. Nai approached him and laid atop him, her hands on either side of his head. His expression changed to yet another of deep pain, "I can't even feel you."

She sighed, "_You will.__"_

* * *

"Where are we?" Gojyo looked around the vast and empty dessert area where he now stood with a very real Nai.

"Where I died."

"But nothing is happening."

She nodded, "I know. This is almost two hours before the fight." she turned and pointed into the distance, "We were all preparing to leave that town, remember?"

Someone walked through the hanyou as they were now in town and he jumped. "Am I dead?"

"No, we're observing." she walked away from him towards an inn, "Hakkai's checking us out of that room we had to share."

"That sucked, the monkey and I had to sleep on the floor while you cuddled up with Hakkai and Sanzo got a bed of his own."

Nai rolled her eyes, "That's beside the point Gojyo. Pay attention."

"_Damn, my back is killing me."_

"_Not my problem." Sanzo lit a cigarette as Gojyo tried to stretch awkwardly and relieve the pain in his back._

_A yawning Goku bopped down the stairs with a woman behind him. Nai ruffled his hair, "You should have gone to bed instead of finishing that manga." _

"_It was the last chapter!"_

_She chuckled a bit until she noticed Gojyo struggling with his back. She approached him wordlessly and rubbed his broad shoulders._

On the other end Gojyo felt the hands and realized Nai was now rubbing his back, "Can you feel me now?" she smirked.

He nodded. It was the same touch he was watching; up his spine, across his shoulders, and down again, moving to his belt a bit. Then around his waist and a small pressure on his spine, then nothing.

"You kissed me."

"I kissed your back yes. You didn't even notice." Nai rolled her eyes as she walked out of the inn and looked out at the dessert.

"What now?" Gojyo questioned as he joined her, getting used to being walked through as two giggling kids ran past.

"We ate breakfast, our hands brush over the last blueberry muffin and you let me have it." she sighed, "I help Hakkai with the shopping, we load into the car then…well…"

"We touched a lot."

"That we did."

He reached out and brushed a hand through her hair then down the side of her neck. Damn if he didn't want to cry, "Now I'll never get to touch you again."

She jerked away, willing back her own tears, "No. Stop. We aren't done, we have to go further back."

"How far?"

"Our first winter together."

Her tanned cheeks flushed a bit, "Sounds good to me."

* * *

"_Bum bum bum bum. Paging the following two people, Mister Stupid Monkey and Mister Stinking Monk of Chang An. The tall, handsome, and super cool Sha Gojyo is requesting your presence."_

_The window to Sanzo's office swung open to show the blonde's scowling face, "I don't know anyone by that name."_

_Across the yard Nai and Hakkai chuckled as Goku joined the monk in the window, "What are you guys doing out there?"_

"_Gettin' Sukiyaki."_

"That was a good day. Was I always such a ham?"

Nai nudged him, a smile splitting her face and lighting it up, "You will always be a ham." For a moment she heard herself encourage the boy in the background, "It's strange for me too you know. I don't _feel_ dead."

The man's smile faltered, "Yeah, well, you feel dead to me."

She grabbed his hands and walked backward through the snow with him, "Let's go a little further into the night."

"…_and she stands up on the bar, throws back a shot, and plants one right on Hakkai's mouth!"_

_The woman covered her face with her hands as it turned pink and Gojyo cackled at the end of his story. Across the table Hakkai is blushing profusely and Sanzo is actually chuckling. "I was drunk!" she defended._

"_Very drunk indeed." Hakkai added._

"Damn that story."

"It was pretty funny."

"No, what's funny is the fact that you'd gotten so upset you confronted me in the kitchen later and demanded I make it up to you, like a child."

He looked down at her, "And you called me and idiot then ran away."

She smirked, "You left that part out when you told the story."

"_Are we out of hot sake?"_

"_You don't need anything else to drink girl."_

"_Oh hush." The woman teetered as she stood and headed for the kitchen, Gojyo following after her. _

The apparitions followed, "Oh…"

"Yup."

"_C'mon Nai don't do that."_

_She pushed against him as he pressed her back to the fridge and his pelvis to hers, "Gojyo you're the one who told the story and embarrassed me. Maybe I should have told about what you did after!" she hissed._

"_Not one of my finer moments." he chuckled making his red cheeks even redder. _

"_Let go of me Gojyo, the Sake is gonna overheat."_

"_So what?"_

"_Gojyo sto-mph!" _

"Ooooohhh…"

"Yeah, that happened."

Gojyo watched himself kissing her and eventually pulled his eyes away, "I don't even remember that."

"You were drunk."

"But you..?"

"_Not_ drunk."

"Damn."

Nai nodded, "You cared about me Gojyo. Even if it was just the physical me you cared about-"

"No." he cut her off, "It was more than physical, it _is_ more than physical."

"I have a hard time believing you."

"But why girly?"

"We'll go over that tomorrow night."

* * *

Gojyo sat straight up in the bed and whipped his gaze around the room. Not a thing out of place, just the clock on the nightstand reading 7 pm. It was hardly dark outside and the sounds of merriment coming from the lounge downstairs were signaling dinner time.

She'd put him to sleep around 10:30 in the morning so he did manage to sleep all day although that quick visit to the past didn't feel like much.

He yawned.

Still tired though.

"Girly?"

No answer. Not even a cold wind to signal the presence of a ghost.

"Damn."

He got up from the bed and left the room and she sat down in the warm spot he left and wailed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Night Two**

**A/N: Short one.**

* * *

"_This is the exact problem I have with you."_

Gojyo opened his eyes to watch the ghost sitting on his bed, her arms crossed and her expression set like a wife waiting for her unfaithful husband to return home. The girl currently kissing him paid no mind and continued to moan like a dirty whore.

"_And you're drunk, so you obviously couldn't give two shits less." _The apparition rose form the bed and was immediately across the room.

The redhead rolled his eyes and separated from the girl, "Come on girly. Don't be such a killjoy."

"What?" the brunette girl tugged at Gojyo's shirt and whined, "Aw, I thought we were having fun."

"Not you."

It was Nai's turn to roll her eyes. A chill settled on the room and the lights flickered, _"Stop fucking around Gojyo."_

The redhead simply managed to make it over to the lamp and turn the light off. He and his companion were at the bed when the light flickered on again, "Dammit girly, stop!"

The brunette with him huffed and separated from him. She crossed her arms and pouted like a child, "Fine!"

"Look, this isn't about you."

"Then who are you talking to?"

He stood up with a huff and snatched the cord from the wall. The lamp went out and the girl he was with was back around him like an ugly scarf.

"_Fine. We'll do this your way."_

Gojyo ignored her and continued with his nightly conquest. But something was off, the kisses were different. He puled back and glared throughout he dark, willing his eyes to see clearly. Green eyes were staring back at him although earlier the girls eyes were brown. He shouted and fell backwards onto the floor. The lights turned on and Nai smirked at him, as a solid as ever and looking only a touch out of place in the girls slinky red dress.

"Surprised?"

"Girly what the hell is this?"

"Possession I think." she looked over her own, very real, caramel skin and frowned at the girls red dress. "This is not my color at all."

"This isn't funny Nai."

"I'm not being funny Gojyo." She helped him off the floor, "This is what you want right?" The dressed turned black. Much more fitting for her.

He didn't say anything right away, just stared. Then eventually reached out and touched her thick hair. "It is you." he breathed.

"Sort of."

Gojyo lunged forward to kiss her again, tearing at the zipper on her back. Nai just chuckled as he drunkenly attempted to undress her, "So sloppy of you Gojyo. It figures though, you've always been sloppy when it came to females."

The sharp pain in his lower gut was reminiscent of a knee landing there and it hurt like all hell.

* * *

"That was really uncalled for."

"I don't think so."

He stood up and brushed himself off, noticing the woman was back in her denim shorts and white tee, "And what's with calling me sloppy?"

"It's the truth. You don't think first. Like that one time…"

"What time?"

Nai pointed over his shoulder, "That time."

Gojyo recognized this bar and he recognized the red-head sitting across the room. He couldn't remember her name, but he definitely remembered that moment in their journey. Nai bumped into him as she moved past him, "You just had to try and save her sad pathetic life and she left your ass hanging in the breeze, just like I told you she would."

"But Nai."

"But what? You felt sorry for her because she's like you?" She crossed her arms and walked to join the rest of their party, shaking their heads at the table, "not every halfbreed leads a boring and pathetic life. You don't."

"What the hell is the kappa up to?"

Nai shrugged. Falling into the routine of that night, fitting snugly into Gojyo's memory of this moment in time. "What do you think he's up to?"

She sat down and put her arm over the back of Sanzo's chair and picked up her beer. She looked over her shoulder at Gojyo and nodded in the direction of the girl. He started towards her but stopped. He didn't need to relive this one. He didn't. He remembered it just fine.

Gojyo marched to the table and snatched Nai out of her chair. "What the hell!"

The rest of the ikkou hardly noticed the commotion and continued talking until they vanished into nothing. Nai and Gojyo stood alone in vast white space, just staring at each other.

"You loved me." The hanyou blurted out.

"Excuse me?!"

"You cared about me like I cared about you and you didn't say anything! You just died on me!"

The white room went black, "I died on you! Are you serious?! How do you tell a man that sleeps with every other woman that you want him for yourself! That watching him with women that could never give him anything other than sex, that could never understand him, was literally killing you anyway! If I had said something to you, Gojyo, would you have changed for me?"

"Nai-"

"Would you have stopped fucking everything on two legs for me!"

The hanyou fell silent and just looked at her, working up the nerve to ask his own question, "Would you have stopped loving Sanzo for me?"

The anger in her eyes was instantly gone. "Is that what this is about? You never said anything to me because of Sanzo?"

"Please answer the question."

She stepped closer to him, "I stopped loving Sanzo a long time ago. I couldn't keep hurting behind waiting for him. I just couldn't. He didn't love me Gojyo, not like you did… not like you do."

Gojyo's eyes burned and he felt her step even closer as he reached up to rub them with the backs of his hands. "This doesn't get us anywhere."

Nai's face was a mess of wet streaks when he lowered his hands. She shook her head, "But it does. Can you let me go now that you've told me how you felt Gojyo?"

He pulled her into his arms, suddenly a mess of sobs, "I can't!"

The woman held him back tightly, "You have to."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**The Last Night**

**A/N: Really long. Last one. Hope you enjoyed.**

"Gojyo, what are you doing?"

The ghost followed him back into his room at the inn. In his arms, a brown paper bag, clinking with liquor bottles. Nai couldn't get him to answer as the bag thunked onto the table in the room and he disappeared to come back with a glass, "So you're just going to drink yourself into oblivion?"

He finally addressed her, "Oblivion, death, what's the difference?"

"You're joking."

"No. Girly if I can't have you back I might as well join you."

"Gojyo! I came back to help you find peace!"

His calm smile was scary, "You did."

The Spector ran both hands through her hair, "You've lost it." Gojyo was back to ignoring her as he started mixing cocktails. As a bartender in life, she started to notice as his mixing turned lethal, "You can't mix those!"

The hanyou took a shot, "I looked at that note behind the bar a million times. You left me alone to tend the bar and made me a list of things to never mix. I remember some of the more lethal combinations." he laughed, "You'd kill me if any of your patrons got sick." Another shot.

"Gojyo please stop. If you keep knocking them back like this it will cause more than some nausea. It'll kill you."

"That's the plan."

She tried to knock the glasses off the table. Nothing moved saved for the liquid inside them swishing around. She was so nervous and scared that her ability to manipulate solid objects was completely gone. It took a lot of focus for a ghost to interact, and right now focus was the last thing Nai had.

"What are they going to do without you? How will they finish this journey without you?"

"How were we going to finish it without you?" he turned her question back on her.

"Shit."

The other three were all together in Sanzo's room. Hakkai and Sanzo both reading books and Goku blipping away on a game. A chill hit the room and Sanzo fidgeted in his seat, "Goku, close the window."

"It's not open Sanzo."

She tried screaming. Nothing. She had to do something, she was desperate, anything to get them to check on Gojyo. She approached the blonde and lent down close to his ear, "Gojyo. What is Gojyo doing?"

The priest fidgeted again, "That kappa better be sleeping. We need to get back on the road."

"He's been getting the required rest Sanzo." Hakkai assured him.

Nai panicked. Rest? He'll be permanently sleeping if someone didn't get in there and stop him. She tried Hakkai next, "Check on him. Go check on Gojyo."

"Maybe I should check on him."

"He's a grown man, Hakkai." Sanzo gruffed.

Goku chuckled, "The kappa could use a babysitter tho."

"Gracious you two." the healer smiled.

Nai screamed and shouted to the ceiling, to the heavens, "Help me!" Her pressure knocked over a glass of water next to Hakkai, it rolled across the table and shattered on the ground.

His smile dropped, "Gojyo!"

When the healer arrived in his room the redhead was on the floor on his back, his eyes clouded and his tanned skin was pale. The temperature in the room dropped as Nai's spiritual presence turned dark. She could see it, his soul leaking from his body.

Hakkai held his hands over the man's chest, "Sanzo!"

The blonde entered with Goku in tow, "What the hell happened?"

Goku picked up a bottle, "Look at all this alcohol."

Sanzo helped Hakkai drop him on the bed, Hakkai continued his assessment while Sanzo approached the table. Nai was once again in his ear, "He was mixing Sanzo. Lethal mixes. He wants to join me."

The blonde looked over his shoulder, "Nai?"

"What?"

"He started acting funny three days ago. On the day of her death."

"You don't think he was trying to kill himself because of it do you?" Hakkai was appalled.

Sanzo actually felt guilty, he openly blamed Gojyo for her death. Knowing full well the kappa felt the same way about her that he did. "Maybe he wants to join her."

"Hakkai!"

The healer looked up and in the general direction of the ghost. He couldn't see her, but he knew the voice calling his name, "Nai?"

"Yes, Nai, who else on this team is dead?" Sanzo thought the healer had been questioning him, not noticing that his attention was elsewhere.

"Gojyo will be soon, because of me."

The blonde spun around. It was highly possible for the spirit of a deceased person to be granted access to the world of the living. For them to change things around them, interact with solid objects, and be heard by those who were still flesh and blood.

"Nai."

The ghost felt something. He called out to her as if she were standing right next to him. He called again and she answered, "Yes Sanzo?"

He glared at her, her apparition now visible to the room, "Why do you feel this is your fault?"

* * *

"He'll be fine." Hakkai entered the room and fought the urge to shiver, it was absolutely freezing. But he would deal with the cold if it meant Nai's presence.

Goku put a hand through her gut, "So, I guess I can't hug you."

"You shouldn't even be seeing her!" The thick accent was obviously the merciful goddess and everyone in the room could tell she was extremely unhappy. She appeared and grabbed the apparition by the arm, "What the hell do you think you're doing?! You were to help him find peace not drive him to kill himself."

"I didn't do anything on purpose! I love him, i'd never hurt him!"

The blonde tch'd and turned his head away from the bickering goddess and ghost. She loved him huh?

"I thought coming to terms with his feelings would help him let me go."

"It never works out like that." Sanzo started, "Realizing his love for you would drive him mad if he had nothing else to look forward to."

Nai could feel his intense anger in his gaze but didn't look away. She wasn't sorry that he let her get away.

The merciful goddess missed it, "You need to finish this mission. That idiot obviously doesn't think it's as important as this girl."

Goku scratched his head, "Why would he? I don't. I miss Nai."

"Goku…"

Hakkai sighed, "We all do."

"Then if he dies you'll finish the mission without him."

"He isn't going to die." Sanzo narrowed his violet gaze and approached the goddess, "We're not going to let him die."

"You'll be able to keep an eye on him everyday until you reach the end of this journey? You'll be able to keep him from attempting on his own life again?"

"She's right." Nai walked towards the room where he lay, "He'll see to his own death, so he can be with me."

"And you suddenly sound ok with that." The priest crossed his arms and glared at her. She hadn't changed. The same white t-shirt, the same curl to her hair, tan to her skin, same glint in her eyes.

"I don't have much against having him. Besides, what happens here never concerned me in the first place."

* * *

"We can't take you."

Nai put down the cup she was cleaning and hopped over the bar, "Excuse me?"

"The sanbutshin was clear about who to take on this mission. They didn't name you, Nai."

"So since when do you follow the rules Sanzo? Screw what they said, I'm going with you."

"No you aren't."

"Oh yes I am. If you expect me to sit around and wait for you to go to india and back you are sorely mistaken."

The blonde turned on his heel and exited the bar, "Fine. Don't blame me if you die though."

* * *

"You're coming back with me. You've done enough damage here." The merciful goddess glared at Nai as the woman joined her side.

Hakkai almost jumped from his seat, "What do we do about Gojyo?"

"Whatever you want. I tried to help him move on. If he loves me enough to die and be with me, I guess we let him kill himself."

The temperature in the room rose to a more comfortable level after the ghost and goddess left the room. Goku hugged his pillow close. "What do we do Sanzo?"

"She was right." he lit a cigarette after a couple frustrating tries with his lighter, "We can't watch the Kappa at every fucking moment."

"But Sanzo we can't let him kill himself! Whether it's to be with Nai or not!"

"We have no control over it Hakkai."

Goku put his face in the pillow, "He was in love with her…"

Hakkai shook his head disapprovingly as he left the room. The door to Gojyo's room opened and closed without a sound and he sat in the only chair to watch the redhead sleep. The pain of loss was one all of them knew, now double after the death of Nai. Hakkai wasn't ready to lose a friend over a broken heart.

He perked in his seat as Gojyo fidgeted under the sheets. The hanyou scrunched up his nose, rolled his head to the side a bit, and took a deep breath, "Nai?"

The healer was a bit heartbroken at the pleading, hopeful, sound that was his question and her name. It took him a few more seconds to answer, "I'm sorry Gojyo, it's just me."

He didn't open his eyes, instead opting for rolling over to face the wall of the small room. Hakkai sighed, "Do you really want to die Gojyo?"

"No." Was the immediate answer. He pulled the thin sheet higher over his shoulders and clutched it, "I've been afraid of dying since we started this stupid journey. But what do I really have to live for Hakkai?"

The man didn't have an answer. Not one that was true anyway.

Gojyo rolled onto his back, tears running to his ears. "She's waiting for me, man. She loves me too. It's the only thing worth caring about now."

"But Gojyo, maybe you should let nature decide when you join her? Just like the rest of us. We'll be together soon enough."

"What happens if I live past this mess? Grow old? All without her..."

The door opened, "That's not your call. If you choose for yourself, you may not end up in heaven. I actually know for a fact you won't." Sanzo put a hand on Hakkai's shoulder and the healer stood by his side.

The three of them watched each other for a long time before the redhead cleared his throat. "Why should I take your word? Her death was my fault by your count."

"Her death was no one's fault. But the will of the heavens." Hakkai flinched as Sanzo tossed his gun onto the bed. "But if you're going to kill yourself. At least do it properly."

* * *

"You're not going to do anything stupid are you?"

Gojyo grinned as he looked away from the rolling scenery to tussle Goku's hair, "No monkey. I won't do anything stupid."

"I'm sure she can wait for you Gojyo."

Sanzo snorted, "She doesn't have much choice but to wait for all of us. But if you want to go first Kappa, you go right ahead."

"Shut up, Monk."

Hakkai smiled, "How did you sleep?"

He went quiet for a moment, the breeze moved through his hair and he could have sworn he felt a hand run through it as well. His smile split his face and he lent back, lighting a cigarette, "I slept pretty damn good Hakkai. Pretty damn good."

* * *

The Merciful Goddess eyed Nai as she peered into the pond. The white robes suit her well and the red Chakra almost glowed on her forehead, "How do you feel about that?"

The new goddess smiled and brushed her hand over their image in the water, sighing, "You heard Konzen. I don't have much of a choice but to wait."


End file.
